A Letter to Baby Girl Francisco

Dear Baby Girl,

The last two weeks have been quite traumatic to say the least. And I know you've felt some of it as you grow inside of me. I have to admit that having you roll around in there has kept things in perspective and have helped me. After all, it's hard to crawl into the fetal position and cry when I physically cannot get into the fetal position anymore! As you grow up, you're going to see me get sad sometimes. And you'll often hear stories that will seem completely absurd and unbelievable. So let me give you a sneak peek about all of that:

Your grandmother, Mary Elizabeth Vener Engelman, was an amazing woman who unfortunately lost her battle to ovarian cancer in 1993. Your Aunt Kim and I were just 17 years old and about to graduate from high school, and Uncle Rob was 20. There is never a good time to lose a parent, but she did an incredible job preparing us for the world. We could take care of ourselves, didn't have to rely on a guy to be someone, and knew we could take on the world if we just tried. She worked through her illness, finishing her doctorate before she died -- her life's dream. Aunt Kim is really starting to look like her now, though she is where my body structure, music ability and a LOT of personality traits come from.

Now for the latest trauma. Your grandfather, Filmore (Phil) Keith Engelman, suddenly had a series of strokes. On December 17th with all 3 of his kids surrounding him (and you in my belly), he joined your grandmother in heaven. We all have different memories of Dad growing up, and all developed deeper, closer relationships with him after Mom died. We watched him stand by Mom's side and promise her that her kids would be OK. He helped us all through Mom's death, college, breakups, marriages, new careers, and just lately, the both exciting and frightening time of bringing a baby into this world. I still cannot believe he is gone, and cannot imagine doing this without him.

But the wonderful thing about your grandparents is that they have given me the strength and ability to do this without them physically being here. I would give ANYTHING in the world to have them here with me and to hold you as you enter this world. But I'll just have to settle for their memories and stories that we will share with you as you grow up. Believe me, with Aunt Kim and Uncle Rob, Mom and Dad's 7 remaining siblings and close to 20 cousins of ours, we have plenty! And you will think we're just making them up, too!

I know that Dad would have been sad that he couldn't hold you, so when he was in the hospital and I was holding his hand, I sat on the bed and had him cradle you in my belly. It's the closest we will get, and I'll treasure the photo forever. It's posted below, along with a re-post of my favorite photo ever that we shared when we found out you were a girl. Dad loved it too -- though he commented that if I cropped me out and only left him and the cat it would be better. Total Filmore statement. :-)

Love, Mom

slacker mom

OK, I've completely been a slacker mom and haven't posted anything in a long time. In my defense, I've been completely slammed at work. We're trying to get all our brochures out before the holidays, which really means by the 18th since most of us will be out for the holidays. So it's been CRAZY!

To make up for my slacker actions, I thought I could post some photos. Seems to give you guys some bantering material. My brother keeps telling people I'm having twins, just to taunt me even further into my life. You can tell by my small size that if there are twins in there, they're severly underdeveloped! I'm not too big, but big for me. It's hard going from six-pack abs to, well, I'm not sure what this is in comparison... maybe a pony keg?

22, 23 and 24 weeks...

Baby Girl Francisco Speaks

Hi. I'm Baby Girl Francisco. You've been reading about me and how I'm growing inside Mom. It's nice and warm in here, and I really like when she gives me chocolate milk and Fig Newtons. Dad keeps calling me different names, and this thing called Orbit lays on top of me and makes everything vibrate. I think Orbit is the thing that hissed at me when I was brand new.

I'm 22 weeks new tomorrow, and growing more and more every day. Mom mentioned something about a list of everything I've done so far. Since I can't type yet, I told Mom the entire list for her to put in here for you. We'll add more later. Enjoy.

1. Saw the most beautiful sunset ever at Great Uncle John’s “cottage” in Minnesota, and consumed almost an entire bottle of Riesling
2. Went camping in Minnesota where every Engelman gave me drinks by the campfire, we outran a tornado, lost in bowling to Aunt Kim, and ended up sleeping on the floor of the Atlanta airport
3. Ticked off Orbit, whoever that is, by my mere existence. Hopefully we’ll get along later.
4. Taunted Grandma Francisco when Mom and Dad told her they were going to get a dog before getting me.
5. Gave Mom fierce headaches because I was screwing with her body. She forgave me so I stopped.
6. Flew to San Antonio to see Aunt Kim again, and meet the Francisco grandparents, uncles and Grandpa Filmore. He made fun of me for being a redhead. What's a redhead?
7. Made Mom throw up. But just a few times. Including in the Houston airport on the way back home. That one was fun.
8. Went to my first NFL game. It was hot. REALLY hot.
9. Flew to New York, walked around Time Square, ate at an Irish pub, climbed the base of the Statue of Liberty, toured Ellis Island, rode the subway, hung out in Central Park, met Mom’s friend Megan, went to mass at St. Patrick’s Cathedral and walked the streets of Manhattan.
10. Voted with Mom. She says I’m the only one that knows who/what she voted for, and this is the ONLY time I’ll ever know. Something about Grandma Mary’s quote of “It’s called a secret ballot for a reason.”
11. Watched the first African-American win a presidential election. Everyone's making such a big deal about it, so Mom explained it to me. I don't know what colors are, so it doesn't make any sense to me. Everyone sounds the same to me from in here. Maybe people should just close their eyes so they can experience things like me.
12. Showed Mom and Dad I was a girl. It made Grandma Lil REALLY happy. Then Mom found a bunch of stuff from her own Mom, like the pillow she made for the tooth fairy and the Cabbage Patch doll she bought Mom right before she died. They made Mom laugh and smile.
13. Heard Uncle Rob teasing Mom. He sounds funny. But he keeps making fun of redheads. Again, what's a redhead? Am I going to be one?
14. Went to Islamorada for a wedding. Don't know where that is, but somehow I made Mom get bit by a TON of bugs. Sorry!
15. Started movin’ around for Mom to feel me. But Dad can’t yet. I’ll start kicking more soon. But for now it's fun to only share with Mom. After all, she's the one that gives me the chocolate milk and Fig Newtons, right?

See you all, well, I'm not sure when. But when I do, bring presents.
-BGF

My baby's a what?

So, we took our weekly progress photo yesterday morning. Belly looks about the same, so not posting it. I think we've all seen enough of the white belly for a while, right? Yes, I look like I haven't seen the light of day in years because, well, this body hasn't seen the light of day in years! After soccer ended in college, it was kinda nice to just stay inside and not worry about a sunburn every damn day. Hard to do in Florida when I can get burned driving to work, but that's why lotions and makeup have sunscreen in them, right?

Anyway, every week I get an e-mail from BabyCenter that tells the size that Baby would be right now. Obviously it's an average, but still. It's always a food item. Baby Girl has been a jumbo shrimp (which you all know I have no idea what size that is!), bell pepper, heirloom tomato, and lately a banana. So what is she this week, from head to toe?

A carrot.

Somewhat appropriate for a hopeful-carrot top, don't you think?

What a Difference a Week Makes...

Seven little days. Wouldn't think it was going to make that big of a deal. But hey, if God created the world in it, then it shouldn't come as a big surprise that in seven measely days I all of a sudden balooned up. Or out, I should say.

So for those of you who keep pestering me, and you know who you are, here are the infamous belly shots. Week 19 and then 20...

CONGRATS, IT'S A...

GIRL!!!!! Though it was a 50/50 chance, both Bob and I were a little shocked to hear GIRL instead of boy! Everyone at work, and I mean EVERY person who had an opinion, said a boy! And with so many boys on Bob's side of the family... But she's a girl! This little girl is going to be so spoiled by the family!

And our siblings better get cracking! It's hard for me to go from having almost 30 cousins to Baby Girl Francisco having NONE!

And she'll be SUCH a Daddy's little girl. It reminded me of this picture, so I had to post it...

(You'll notice the cat is sleeping with us too. That's MeToo, Mom and Dad's FIRST child.)

So nice they named it twice...

We took a long weekend and flew up to New York on Thursday for a WELL-deserved break and mini-vacation. After years of me tormenting Bob for not ever visiting New York, we went for a 3-night stay in Manhattan. Bob's only two requests: 1. Visit the Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island, and 2. Watch the Longhorns game on Saturday night. For his aching heart, we won't discuss number 2 much, except to say that we got to meet up with my college friend/roomie Megan and had a great time catching up with her. More fun than watching parts of the game...

Anyway, Friday morning we headed downtown to Battery Park and took the ferry to the Statue. I have to admit that I've been to New York countless times, and never went down there. It was incredible to see how big she is, learn the story about how she was built, and actually climb the 192 steps from the ground to the top of the pedestal. Thank goodness you cannot climb in the actual statue anymore -- I was struggling with just that part! Again, hard for me as the athlete to be taken down by an interloper the size of an heirloom tomato (according to my weekly e-mails from Baby Center).

After the Statue, we took the ferry to Ellis Island. I have to admit that this was VERY cool, even though we figured out before the trip that none of our direct family members actually walked through Ellis Island on their way to America. Most came prior to the time Ellis was open, and some came from other ports -- the Engelmans apparently came up the Mississippi. But the museum there, especially with the audio tour, was very interesting and it was somewhat touching to walk where so many people came before us. We very highly recommend it. After having dinner near Time Square, which we just kept walking through, we collapsed into bed.

Saturday we went to Central Park, which is such a dichotomy from the rest of the city -- it's quiet, full of trees changing leaf colors, and even a kids petting zoo. The NY City Marathon was on Sunday, so the park was getting decked out with signage, the finish line, and the path marked out. Very cool. I miss running. :-( We stayed there for hours. Before the football game, we even attended mass at St. Patrick's Cathedral. The marathon theme continued, and at the end of mass, more than 200 runners that were attending the service were invited to the front of the church for a blessing. It was a remarkable site.

We did so many other things it would take too long to give every detail... ate at an Irish pub, of course; took photos in front of the bull in the financial district, walked along 5th Avenue and didn't even make Bob buy me anything at THE Tiffany's store, etc. We had a blast and I'm happy to report that Bob liked the city -- I was afraid I talked it up too much and he wouldn't like it!

And, we now have more to add to our mythical list of things that Baby Interloper has already done in his/her 19 weeks of squatting. We're going to put that list together and post it when we have a chance. First item: Reisling at the cottage and shots at the campfire in Minnesota. Yeah, it's that kind of list...

Oh, and before I post this... Baby Interloper just did something else. Tagged along as I voted this morning and just watched history at 11:00 EST.

18 weeks and growing...

I had my 18 week appointment with Dr. F today. Nothing major to report, but I actually paid attention to numbers this time so I could report them to Kim (LOVE having a nurse for a sister now!) I've gained 9 pounds so far, though Dr. F said she looks more preggers than me, and that I just look like a normal human being now. :-) There's definitely a bump there now and I've put the normal people clothes away and am a firm believer in the wonder of belly banded pants. LOVE them. Old Navy Maternity, Target Maternity and Gap Maternity are now my best friends. And Kim sent me a mumu to wear later in the house (inside joke with Mom who couldn't wear anything BUT the mumus when she was preggers with us!) and a cool dress/skirt I can wear for a while.

Baby heartbeat was 143. Both Dr. F and Kim said it was great. And my blood pressure is 108/68, which she said was better than some non-preggers. I like that! Funny thing--even with not gaining much weight and being healthy, it sure takes a lot out of me to do ordinary things! I carried most of the groceries in last night and was so winded when I answered the phone that I sounded like I was working out (as if). We had a fire alarm in the office today and I thought I was going to have to rest walking back up the 5 flights of stairs. This from the girl who used to run 5 miles a few times a week.

Baby's First NFL Game

Yesterday we went to watch the Dolphins lose to Baltimore at Dolphin Stadium. It actually was a fun day - tailgating beforehand and being on the 22nd row in the endzone. HOWEVER... it was so dang hot! Well, it was probably only 85 degrees tops, but the sun was right over the stadium. I didn't think I was going to make it through the game, but I actually made it until 2 minutes left in the game. But by then the damage was done to my shoulders and chest... It's been about 4 years since I was sunburned! Today at work someone told me that my pregnancy makes me burn more easily. Yeah, like that was physically possible to begin with! There's no way!

Anyway, we came home and crashed on the bed for about 2 hours before we finally woke up, cleaned up (yuk, sunscreen!) and got some dinner. Orbit was so confused us sleeping and THEN getting up. But he got over it and settled in for some more zzzz's with us. He's not really picky as long as he gets to snuggle with us. Somehow I have a feeling Interloper is going to be the same...

Sometimes I think my interloper doesn't like me...

So, I made it through the entire first trimester without really getting sick. Don't get me wrong -- I was DAMN tired and had to get that whole blood sugar thing under control. But I wasn't waking up and throwing up in the morning.

Until this last week.

My baby doesn't like me. :-)

There were two mornings that just, well, sucked. Last Friday I was so out of it that I actually left work early to come home and sleep. I NEVER leave early. Good thing that's known. KK actually told me to get out of there! Anyway, I also got sick yesterday morning. I figured out it's because I actualy woke up 2 hours before I got out of bed. Bob went to work early, and I woke up (of course) and went back to bed. I should have eaten right then. But instead, I waited, and then had a tylenol for my headache, crackers and water.

Then brushed my teeth.

Then saw red cracker paste come on up. It was attactive. I just had to share with you all. Interloper better give me LOTS of kisses growing up!

Yummmmmm...

Yes, I'm a dork. I still check mysa.com to read San Antonio news. So when I saw this photo today on the front page of mysa.com, what did I think?

DAMN I MISS THOSE CHOCOLATE SHAKES FROM OLMOS PHARMACY!!! One of those would REALLY hit the spot right now. :-)

I already miss Mexican food, and Baby's heartbeat

We've been back in Florida for a few days now, and I already miss the Mexican food. I'm going to blame it on the baby, but I literally inhaled almost the entire bowl of queso at Alamo Cafe. Dad, Bob, me, Kim and Schultzy enjoyed a yummy meal there -- though I had to ask Dad to move the margarita glass away from me. I guess it's good that the smell of beer and liquor makes me want to hurl -- that way I don't really miss it. Other than that and the smell of seafood (which honestly made me sick to begin with because of my allergy), I don't have any aversions so far.

Well, I have an aversion to waking up in the morning, but I think that's different.

I had my 14 week appointment with Dr. F yesterday morning, and lucky Bob got to come with. These appointments aren't too exciting, since they're just checking blood pressure (perfect), weight (have gained a total of 4 pounds somehow though it seems like SO much more), and seeing how everything is going. BUT... Bob hadn't heard the heartbeat yet. He was out of town two weeks ago for the big sonogram and heartbeat check, so he's was ALL jazzed to go. It really is a fascinating thing to hear and makes you realize that there is in fact a child inside of me.

See, I'm actually getting chunky for a reason...

LESS THAN 24 HOURS TO MEXICAN FOOD!!!

No, it's not a pregnancy craving. Just a homesick craving. I can't tell you all how I'm ALWAYS craving Tex-Mex. And I can't wait to have an Olmos Taco from Panchitos. Cream corn from Rudy's. Tortillas and queso from Alamo Cafe. But you know it's physically impossible for me to eat all of that in a 2 1/2 day stint along with family barbecue. But I'll love trying!

I also miss San Antonio like something fierce. I need a dose of truly nice people who won't try to murder me on the highway, honk when you don't automatically go through a light, and run 7 cars through a red light. When we went home for Christmas, we came to a 4-way stop sign after another car. They actually waved us through to go first. I was flabbergasted. Kinda scared to go, too. In Florida it's just a ploy before they plow into you for an insurance scam.

OH THANK GOD!!!

It feels so good not to have this as a secret anymore! Over the last few days we've been telling family and friends, and now I don't have to worry about snickering looks as my clothes aren't fitting me anymore. Or when I eat 2 cookies at lunch (like I did today!). Or avoiding our favorite bar/restaurant around the corner because the bartender was wondering why I wasn't ordering green apple martinis.

You know, it's kinda sad when your bartender and cat are the first two to figure out you're pregnant!

In any case, hello to all of you who are now reading the blog. I'll try to update it more with photos and stories! This photo is 12 weeks, on September 15. Look, a real baby instead of a piece of rice!

Happy Hours Suck

We all had a trying week at work (or last few months at work to be more exact...). So around 5 on Friday, I walked by KK's office as she was walking out with a few bottles of wine. She smirked and said "Sorry." Well that just sucks. OK, just for me, but tiptoeing around why I wasn't drinking at the office happy hour was difficult for me too! Gotta be quick on your feet in that place! I almost caved and just told them all, but I want to wait until tomorrow's screening testing.

Speaking of... I believe they're going to do another songram. Can't wait! The first one showed me exactly at 7 weeks. Mandi scanned them in for me so I could use them in our gifts for the soon-to-be grandparents. She had a little fun with one of them. Bob and I love it! A little artistic license, since at 7 weeks the interloper was only the size of the dotted line going across, but still... adorable!

Migraines and flat belly...

So, I'd say I've been a complete slacker, as I haven't blogged in AGES!!! But seriously, I'm lucky to have enough energy to make the 18 mile drive home every day! I haven't had any morning, afternoon or evening sickness. However, I have discovered the horrible complexities of migraines. I think I pinpointed the root - when my blood sugar is completely out of whack. It's happened twice now, and it never ends well. When I would get migraines pre-interloper, the only way to get rid of it was to sleep or throw up. Normally throw up, then take Aleve (now banned!) then sleep. These two times it ended up with me throwing up. Yee haw.

I had my Week 10 appointment with Dr. Fahey last week. I love her. Bob has a problem with her -- but only in sports principle. Seems she went to Florida AND Florida State - one for undergrad, one for medical school. He says the College Football Gods would be upset. Whatever. Both teams could still kick UTSA's football team's ass. Oh wait, they don't have football. :-)

So, she said I looked great (why thank you), have a healthy, energetic interloper, and should learn to eat properly. She doesn't believe I was an athlete in my past life since I seem to have trouble remembering to eat every 2 hours. Hey, not my fault I became a slave to the corporate world where I can't stash away tacos to eat after every meeting. Ummmm. I'd kill for a taco right now. Anyway, after a few minutes of trying to find interloper's heartbeat (tempermental redhead!), I finally heard it! It was so cool that I started to laugh, which made it all go away. :-( Spoiled by my ticklish stomach and baby virgin ears!

By the way, I'm already starting to put on a little weight, and for the first time in my life get a little belly. Dr. Fahey said it's because I was so small to begin with and had a flat stomach - everything needs room to move and get ready, so I will show a lot earlier. Now what kind of fair life is it for my running/sit-up flat belly to curse me? Looks like I'll actually have to tell people soon.

Yea!!!!

I SWEAR he knows...

Well so much for getting to write over the weekend. I took advantage of not working and had some major Orbit-the-Wondercat bonding time while relaxing in bed. More on that later...

Then, we needed to go grab a few things for Tropical Storm Fay that was heading our way. The thought of being in the 8th floor of a condo without electricity or food is quite scary. So even though we were pretty sure it wasn't going to hit (it didn't!), we still went through the motions. Better safe than sorry.

So. It's been incredible to keep this secret, and we may not make it to the end of September before we tell people. But, I SWEAR there is one family member who has figured it out. ORBIT. Seriously, I think he even knew before I did! He was starting to act strange around me, and I just figured it was him being moody. Damn Siamese cats. Anyway, he seriously stopped sitting or laying with me. Would jump up on the bed and walk right across me to Bob. Would avoid me like the plague. I swear he knows.

Makes sense, actually. I've had him for 12 years now, longer than Bob and I have even known each other, and people say animals can pick up on things. Maybe I'm emitting a pregnancy pheromone that only cats can smell. :-)

In any case, staying with him on Saturday, and then again Tuesday morning when we delayed work due to the storm, seemed to do the trick. He loves me again.

Just wait until I start to kick him off my stomach. That's not gonna go well. Poor little bugger...

Week 7, and nobody knows!

So, this is probably the hardest thing we've ever kept from friends and family. Especially when we get caught in lies! But it's a necessity, as I'm just superstituous enough to NOT tell anyone until the first trimester is done. Or at least close to being done. Or until we can't handle it anymore...

So yes, I'M PREGNANT. Our quest to perpetuate the redhead race now begins. Now for those of you who believe we can have something other than a redhead, I'm just not buying it. Two redheads equals four recessive genes. I paid attention in middle school biology with that box with four little r's. But hey, just in case something freaky happens, I'll give you all a .0001 percent that we won't have a fellow red. But it's not gonna happen.

It's slightly strange to be writing to, well, nobody. But I know that we'll share this with everyone and you'll get to catch up on what these first days have been like for us. But for now, some apologies...

1. Sorry to Bob's mom -- we know you're going to be upset that we didn't tell you immediately, but I'm a firm believe in Murphy's Law. And we just couldn't tell you and have something bad happen.

2. Sorry to Bob's mom for laughing hysterically the other night when you actually said "You two better get me a baby before you get a dog!" on the phone to Bob. You didn't hear it, but it gave us laughter for a long time after that. Don't worry -- definitely getting you a grandbaby before a dog!

3. Sorry to KK and work for not sharing this, but hey, like we need more drama right now. But then again, SERIOUSLY, how could you all not have figured this out yet? "Cutting back on diet coke"? Like I'd actually do that voluntarily...

4. Sorry to God for saying "OH THANK GOD!" when I saw only ONE sac and itty-bitty-rice-size-bambino at the ultrasound this week. I realize that it's going to come back to nail me later in life and I'll have an "Oh shit" statement just like mom and dad. Don't worry, I'm sure I'll explain that one later in here...

5. And most importantly, sorry to bambino (or "interloper" as Amy calls him/her) for the amounts of alcohol you endured within 2-3 weeks of your spontaneous appearance in my body. Not sure about the exact moment you appeared, but we know it is probably right around our trip to Minnesota for the Engelman family reunion/camping trip. Campfire drinks were imbibed. I blame my cousin's husband, Brent. Don't worry, it won't affect you. And he'll probably give you alcohol later in your life anyway...

That should do it for our inaugural post. This weekend I'll try to update you on finding my sucking-the-life-out-of-me tiredness, and how I hopefully can still go to Happy Hour tomorrow after work without explaining my lack of green apple martinis.